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কাচ্চি চিকেন / মাটন দম্ বিরিয়ানি - আমার রেসিপি Kacchi Chicken / Mutton Dum Biryani - My Recipe

January 12, 2016


কাচ্চি চিকেন / মাটন দম্ বিরিয়ানি
আমি যেভাবে তৈরি করি

উপকরণ:
চিকেন / মাটন - ২ কিলো (বড় টুকরো)
বাসমতি চাল - ১ কিলো
আলু - ১.৫ কিলো
পেঁয়াজ - ৫০০ গ্রাম (অপশনাল)
আঁদা - ৫০ গ্রাম
রসুন - ৫০ গ্রাম
পাতি লেবু - ২ টো
ঘি - ২০০ গ্রাম
জিরা গুঁড়ো - ২ চা চামচ
ধনে গুঁড়ো - ২ চা চামচ
গোলমরিচ গুঁড়ো - ২ চা চামচ
লঙ্কা গুঁড়ো - ৪ চা চামচ
হলুদ গুঁড়ো - ১ চা চামচ
গোটা গরম মশলা - ৫-১০ গ্রাম
এলাচ - ৫ গ্রাম (আলাদা)
গরম মশলা গুঁড়ো - ২ চা চামচ
জৈত্রী - ২ টো ছোটো টুকরো (গুড়ো/বাটা)
জায়ফল - ১/৪ টুকরো (গুড়ো/বাটা)
নুন - পরিমাণমত
গোলাপ জল - ১ চা চামচ
কেওড়া জল - ১ চা চামচ
জাফরাণ
মিঠা আঁতর
হলুদ রং (খাওয়ার রং - তরল)
ভিনিগার - ২ চা চামচ (ম্যারিনেশনের জন্য)
ময়দা - ২৫০ গ্রাম

কাচ্চি বিরিয়ানির স্বাদ ও গন্ধ অতুলনীয়। মাংস আলাদা রান্না করে পরে মিশিয়ে পাক্কি বিরিয়ানি বানানো যায় তবে সেই স্বাদ ও গন্ধ হবে না। কাচ্চি বিরিয়ানি তৈরি করতে কেবল একটু সাহস আর পরিকল্পনা চাই। আমিতো প্রথমেই একটা মাঝারি সাইজের অ্যালুমিনিয়ামের ডেচকি আর ঢাকনা কিনেছিলাম। তবে হান্ডি বা হাড়িও চলবে। গোলাপ আর কেওড়ার জলের একটা করে বোতল কিনলে ৬ মাস চলে যাবে। ৫ গ্রাম জৈত্রী আর ১ টা জায়ফল কিনলে চার বার বিরিয়ানি বানানো যাবে। ভিনিগারের ১ টা বোতল কিনলেও ক্ষতি নেই, চাইনিজ রান্নায় লাগে।

হায়দ্রাবাদী বিরিয়ানিতে পুদিনা পাতা আর পেঁয়াজ ভাজা দেয়। কলকাতা বিরিয়ানিতে দেয় না তবে আলু আর সেদ্ধ ডিম দেয়। বাঙালী মুখে পুদিনা রোচে কি? তবে পেঁয়াজ ভাজা চলে। অনেকে দুধ বা আরও অনেক রকম মশলা দেয় যা না দিলেও চলে। বাজারে হলুদ রঙের গুড়োর প্যাকেট পাওয়া যায় কিন্তু তা খাওয়ার রং নয়।

ম্যারিনেশন:
চিকেন হলে ২ ঘন্টা আর মাটন হলে সারা রাত ফ্রিজে রেখে ম্যারিনেট করতে হবে। চিকেন / মাটনের সাথে আদা ও রসুন বাটা, জিরা, ধনে, লঙ্কা, গোলমরিচ, জৈত্রী, জায়ফল ও গরম মশলার গুঁড়ো, নুন এবং ভিনিগার দিয়ে রেখে দিতে হবে। অনেকে টক দই দেয় তবে ভিনিগার দিলে টক দই আর লাগে না।

আলু খোসা ছাড়িয়ে বড় বড় টুকরো করে নুন দিয়ে সেদ্ধ (৭০%) করতে হবে। জলে ১ চামচ হলুদ গুঁড়ো দিয়ে দিলে আলুর রং হলুদ হয়ে যাবে। আমি চন্দ্রমুখী আলু দিই বলে ৭০% সেদ্ধ করি। জ্যোতি আলু হলে ৮০% সেদ্ধ করবেন।

পেঁয়াজ (অপশনাল) লাল করে ভেজে রাখতে হবে তবে ভাজতে বেশ তেল লাগবে এবং ভাজার পরে বেশ সেই ভাজা তেল অন্য কাজে লাগাতে হবে।

ডেচকিতে ঘি দিয়ে ব্রাশিং (বেশি পরিমানে) করে মশলা মাখা কাঁচা মাংস পেতে দিতে হবে। ম্যারিনেশনের মশলা মাখা মাংসের কাঁচা গ্রেভিটাও ঢেলে দিতে হবে। উপরে সেদ্ধ আলু রেখে আবার ভালো করে ঘি ছড়িয়ে গোটা গরম মশলা এবং পাতি লেবুর রস ছড়িয়ে দিতে হবে। বাসমতি চাল নুন দিয়ে ৭০% সেদ্ধ করতে হবে। অর্দ্ধেক বাসমতি চাল ছড়িয়ে বাকি এলাচ আর বাকি ঘি ছড়িয়ে দিতে হবে। পেঁয়াজ ভাজা (অপশনাল) ছড়িয়ে এবার বাকি অর্দ্ধেক বাসমতি চাল ছড়িয়ে দিতে হবে। উপরে জাফরাণ (দুধে / জলে গোলা), গোলাপ ও কেওড়া জল এবং মিঠা আঁতর ছড়িয়ে দিতে হবে। খাওয়ার হলুদ রং কেবল ডেচকির একদিকেই ছড়িয়ে দিতে হবে।

দম্:
ময়দা মেখে লেচি বানিয়ে রাখতে হবে। ডেচকিতে ঢাকনা লাগিয়ে ময়দার লেচি দিয়ে ভালো করে ঢাকনা সিল করে দিতে হবে। এবারে ডেচকি ওভেনে বসিয়ে ৫ মিনিট বেশি আঁচে রেখে তারপর ডেচকির নিচে একটা তাওঁয়া / বড় চাটু রেখে আঁচ কমিয়ে দিয়ে ১ ঘন্টা দম্ দিতে হবে। দম্ হয়ে গেলেও আরও ১০ মিনিট রেখে তবে ডেচকি খুলতে হবে।



পুনশ্চ:

অতি উৎসাহী হয়ে বেশি আঁদা, জিরা গুঁড়ো, জৈত্রী বা জায়ফল দিলে মাংস তেঁতো হয়ে যাবে। বেশি কেওড়া বা গোলাপ জলও কিন্তু বিরিয়ানির স্বাদের ভারসাম্য নষ্ট করে দেবে।

আপনি যে পাত্রে মাটন / চিকেন ম্যারিনেট করবেন, দেখবেন অনেকটা মশলা মাখা কাঁচা গ্রেভি পরে থাকবে। সেই গ্রেভিটা দিচ্ছেন, ডেচকির নিচে বেশি করে ঘি ব্রাশিং করছেন, কম আঁচে দম্ দিচ্ছেন, তবে আর মাংস পুড়বে কেন?

বাজারে যে বাসমতি চাল পাওয়া যায়, তা আতপ চাল যা ৭০% সেদ্ধ অবস্থায় দম্ দিতে দিলে, বিরিয়ানি ঝরঝরে হবে। বেশি সেদ্ধ হলে, মাখো মাখো হয়ে যাবে। বাজারে বিরিয়ানির জন্য সরু সেদ্ধ চালও পাওয়া যায়। সেদ্ধ চাল কিন্তু বেশি সেদ্ধ করতে হবে, তবে বিরিয়ানির জন্য আতপ চালই ভালো। একদম সঠিক আন্দাজের জন্য কিছু অভিজ্ঞতাও দরকার। তবে যখন দেখবেন, সব ঠিকঠাক সেদ্ধ হয়ে গেছে, তখন মনে হবে ম্যাজিক।

বাসমতি চাল সেদ্ধ করার আগে ঘন্টাখানেক জলে ভিজিয়ে রাখতে হবে।

যে পাত্রে বাসমতি চাল সেদ্ধ করবেন, চাল ৩" জলে ডুবিয়ে দেবেন। যখন দেখবেন, চাল ফুলে জলের উপরিতল ছুয়ে ফেলেছে মানে চাল ফুলে লম্বা হয়ে গেছে কিন্তু একটু কাঁচা আছে, তখন বুঝবেন হয়ে গেছে।

৭০% সেদ্ধ ভাত কিন্তু সঙ্গে সঙ্গে ডেচকিতে ঢালতে হবে। ভাত ওভেন থেকে নামিয়ে ডেচকিতে না দিয়ে রেখে দিলে, ভাত কিন্তু সেদ্ধ হতেই থাকবে। তাই মাংস আর আলু দিয়ে ডেচকি আগেই তৈরি রাখবেন।



তবে আর কি! রেস্তোরায় না খেয়ে বাড়ীতে নিজে বানিয়ে খেয়ে দেখুন। আনন্দই আলাদা।

PK: Jo Dar Gaya, Woh Mandir Gaya

December 27, 2014


If you have followed all the previous movies directed by Rajkumar Hirani, then you are already familiar with his signature style and there must be several immensely popular dialogues or phrases in his films. “PK” is not an exception. “Peekay ho kya?”, “Dancing Cars”, “Wrong Number” and most interestingly “Jo dar gaya, woh mandir gaya” are such kinds of dialogues or phrases in “PK”. Before its release, PK created some curiosities and even controversies due to one of its posters in which Aamir Khan was seen posing nude with a well-placed boombox hiding his private part. Everyone knows that Aamir Khan loves and always tries to do two things for his movies. One is perfection and another is adopting peculiar strategies for promoting his films. This particular poster was certainly a part of his unusual and weird strategy but it still created some buzz about his role in this movie.

PK (the central character played by Aamir Khan) is an alien whose spaceship landed in the desert of Rajasthan in India and he alone came out of that spaceship. Much to our surprise, he was completely naked having only a necklace on his neck. The alien was sent to Earth for research. But what kind of research? Where were his scientific tools or devices for research? Was it research on the social structures or social behaviours of humans on Earth? The only device he carried with him was that necklace. It was a special necklace because it had a big gem that also showed some kind of electromagnetic pulse in it. This special necklace is not a long-distance signal-sending beacon device but a remote-control device for his spaceship. Now why does an alien need a remote control device for his spaceship? Because he can only recall his spaceship with the help of that device. Now the next question would be whether he was the alone space voyager in that big spaceship or not. It seems that he was alone otherwise he should have carried a beacon device or even a communication device for keeping contact constantly with the spaceship or other aliens in that spaceship. I have watched many alien movies in which a single or a group of aliens emerged from the spaceships. Some of them did have that beacon device but nobody carried a remote control device with them. This is something new, weird, and of course out of logic. The second weird thing was the nudity of that alien. The last alien in a Bollywood movie (Koi... Mil Gaya), Jadoo also came out of a spaceship wearing a spacesuit. It is simple science that if you travel into deep space for interplanetary spaceflight, you will need a spacesuit and if the alien looks like a human, that alien needs a spacesuit for that purpose. The third weird thing is the biological structure of that alien. He looks like a human and later he also learned how to talk in human language. But later he informed us that nobody on his home planet talks because the communication between two aliens is done completely by telepathy. Biology says that nature builds all animals even humans and develops all the organs as per the requirements of those animals. That means if the alien doesn’t need to talk for communication in his world, that alien body should not have a mouth at all. If we consider that he has a mouth only for eating, then what about the ability to talk which he develops later on Earth? I think Vocal Cord is also considered as an organ in Biology. This kind of fact was handled quite wisely in the Hollywood movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still” in 2008. The alien was re-born rather than genetically re-modified in its human shape with the help of pre-collected human DNA from Earth.

“PK” is a Bollywood Hindi movie and certainly not a science fiction movie. So, discussing scientific facts in this review is a waste of words. Let’s get inside the movie. Soon after the Alien lands on Earth, he loses his remote control device. A villager snatches that device from his body and while chasing that villager, the alien manages to get the boombox from the villager but can't recover his lost device. Without that device, the alien cannot recall his spaceship and return to his home planet. So, the first target would be to find out that remote control device. This is where and how his journey begins on Earth. The alien starts to learn about human cultures and behaviours. The first thing he learns is that humans wear clothes so does he. The next lesson is that there are male and female versions of clothes. Even different male or different female humans wear different types of clothes on different occasions or purposes. I don’t think this human-like alien doesn’t know the difference between a male and a female animal. Then he understands the value of money in human society. He discovers two ways of earning money and clothes. One hilarious way is stealing money and clothes from dancing cars. If humans have sex in cars, that car shakes and the alien describes that car as the dancing car. Another way is stealing money from the bowls of blind beggars. Maybe you’ll find a few dancing cars in remote places in India but I don’t think you will see dancing cars publicly in Indian cities in broad daylight. This alien meets Bhairon Singh (played by Sanjay Dutt) and becomes his friend. Bhairon finds that his new friend always tries to grab the hands of other people. Bhairon thinks that his friend needs sex so he takes him to a nearby brothel. There the alien meets a prostitute and grabs her hands for some hours to absorb her memories and knowledge. By the next morning, the alien learned her mother tongue Bhojpuri and therefore the alien also started talking in Bhojpuri and eating paan (betel). Now the alien understands that if he wants to find his lost device, he will have to go to Delhi.

The core story takes place in Delhi. In a big city like Delhi, people get irritated by his simple questions about whether they have seen his lost remote control device or how to find that device. People generally react by asking him in return “Peekay ho kya?” which means “Are you drunk?” but eventually the alien was labeled with the name PK. He met all kinds of people and even the police and asked for his device but finally, he came under the impression from all the reactions he witnessed that only God knows and can help him to find his device. But who is this God? Where does he live? He visits all kinds of God’s houses like Temples, Churches, Mosques, Gurdwaras, etc. to meet him personally. But God personally doesn’t live in any of those houses and finally, PK concludes that God is missing. He distributes the leaflets that God is missing and if anybody finds God, can contact PK and inform him about the whereabouts of God. While distributing those leaflets, PK meets the television reporter Jaggu (played by Anushka Sharma). Jaggu has got her own story. Her actual name is Jagat Janani which was given by a God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj (Played by Saurabh Shukla). Jaggu’s father (played by Parikshit Sahni) respects this God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj and doesn’t do anything at all without consulting with him or taking permission from him. When Jaggu informs her father that she is in love with Sarfaraz Yousuf (played by Sushant Singh Rajput) who is a Muslim and also comes from Pakistan, Jaggu’s father immediately rushes to meet Tapasvi Maharaj for his advice. This God-Man predicts the future that Sarfaraz will betray her. The next day Jaggu decides to marry Sarfaraz but on the wedding day, due to a misunderstanding, the marriage didn’t happen and then Jaggu returned to India from Europe with a broken heart. Jaggu joins a news channel as a reporter and looks for sensational news. When Jaggu meets PK, Jaggu follows him and tries to understand him. PK tells her his whole story but she can’t believe him completely. Later she got the proof that PK really can grab memories by touching the hands of other people. Jaggu was not completely sure whether PK was an alien or not but she was quite sure of one thing the way PK behaves, how he asks straightforward and innocent questions to people around him, there must be something special in him. Somehow PK himself seems to be news to her. In his quest to find his device, PK comes to know that some God-Men have direct contact with God as they claim to common people. One day PK reaches an ashram or gathering place where the God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj was running a demonstration to show people that he can contact directly with God and therefore he has all the solutions for the problems of common people or his followers. PK notices that that God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj has his remote control device in his possession but that God-Man is telling people that this device is a part of Lord Shiva’s Damaru which Tapasvi Maharaj has found in the Himalayas. When PK claims his property, the guards forcefully show him the door. PK amuses why so many people follow and trust these God-Men without any doubt and pay their respects to them. He gradually understands that this is a business. These so-called God-Men sometimes perform some magic tricks to gain the trust of common people that they have the real divine power of communicating with God and if they want, they can show the common people the remedy and solution for the problems in their lives. So if the common people make him pleased with money, he can also get them out of their misery in return. The only capital that these so-called God-Men are using in this business is the fear of common people towards God. So PK’s ultimate realization is “Jo dar gaya, woh mandir gaya” which means “On being scared, one goes to the temple”.

Now Jaggu plans a strategy for how to expose these frauds and so-called God-Men to the people of India. She takes permission from her boss (played by Boman Irani) and assembles a team of cameramen and PK. They went to the ashram or gathering place of God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj with full arrangement of recording videos and then PK challenged Tapasvi Maharaj that whatever remedy or solutions he is offering to his followers or common people pretending that all the solutions are being conferred by God directly to him, are all wrong and by no means God could have provided such solutions to the common people because God loves every human being equally and treats them as children. God cannot make his followers suffer more while ending all kinds of suffering in life. That means how that so-called God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj was pretending to make contact with God directly, was completely wrong. PK described that as the “Wrong Number”. That incident was recorded by Jaggu and her team and later she showed that video on her news channel and asked common people to send her this kind of video naming them as “Wrong Number”. People responded very well by sending a lot of similar videos to that news channel. One Muslim schoolgirl even sent a video with the message “Itna chota nahin ho sakta hamara Khuda, ki use hamare school jaane pe aitraaz ho” which means “God cannot be so mean that he imposes objection against our will of going to school”. Then Jaggu’s boss was convinced that they could telecast a live show on this subject and conduct a face-to-face debate between PK and God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj on that show. Both Jaggu and her boss were confident that PK would expose that fraudulent so-called God-Man Tapasvi Maharaj to the people of India. Tapasvi Maharaj was nervous and scared of being exposed and losing his well-established business of cheating people with fake assurances that he could make people out of their misery. Tapasvi Maharaj even questioned in front of the media whether anybody knows which religion PK belongs to. The media pressure, the popularity of PK, and negative publicity on this kind of religious or God-based business left Tapasvi Maharaj no way but to accept the challenge of facing PK in a live debate on TV. Tapasvi Maharaj thought that if he successfully confused PK about religion and the way of following God and PK didn’t give him the answers, he could save his business and regain popularity. The show started and Tapasvi Maharaj directly questioned his religion and asked if he had any better way to show people compassion or help them get out of their miseries. I thought this debate was going to be a tough and long one but it soon became a personal challenge between Tapasvi Maharaj and PK. Tapasvi Maharaj once predicted that Sarfaraz Yousuf would betray Jaggu and exactly that had happened. PK said that Sarfaraz didn’t betray Jaggu rather it was a simple matter of misunderstanding. Tapasvi Maharaj was furious and announced that if PK proved that the prediction was incorrect, then Tapasvi Maharaj himself would hand over that remote control device to PK. Then PK asks Jaggu to contact Sarfaraz Yousuf in Pakistan over the telephone. After a few attempts, she made a call to Sarfaraz and then the actual truth came out that PK was right. PK got his device back and then he reached the desert of Rajasthan accompanied by Jaggu. PK returned to his home planet by his spaceship at the end. But after one year, PK returns to Earth again with a group of aliens including a special one (played by Ranbir Kapoor). It was more like a packaged tour to Earth with PK being the guide of that tour party. The director Rajkumar Hirani has also kept the interest alive for a sequel.

Rajkumar Hirani makes all his movies including "PK" full of comedy and very very hilarious punch lines and comical incidents often make the audience compelled to fall from their seats bursting out with laughter. But Rajkumar Hirani also conveys a strong social message through his movies. He has raised a lot of questions via a straightforward and innocent person like PK about all the religions, and the diverse and peculiar ways of following respective Gods in those different religions. The tagline “Jo dar gaya, woh mandir gaya” is the message he has tried to convey to the audience and the people of India. But Temples, Churches, Mosques, Gurdwaras, etc., or the religions Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Sikhism, Buddhism, Jainism, etc., or the different ways of following the respective Gods themselves are not the subjects Rajkumar Hirani is trying to make fun of, in his movie “PK”. Religion is a sensitive issue in India and nobody dares to play with the issue or make fun of it especially if you want to make a film touching that issue, you will play with care otherwise the sensor board as well as various radical religious groups or extremists will come into the arena. I think Rajkumar Hirani has targeted only those so-called God-Men who have flourished in India over the years. We are currently living in the twenty-first century. The time has changed, and so must we. We should not allow these God-Men to do business using our faith, religion, our emotions, and respect towards our deities pretending that they are the only direct communication or media between God and us. If the common people have faith in their God, they can pray directly to God or visit the home of God like Temples, Churches, Mosques, Gurdwaras, etc., and pay their respects directly to God. I remember a particular dialogue in a recent Hollywood movie “Man of Steel” in which Father Leone tells Clark Kent (Superman) that “Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later”. This is a very important sentence if you want to define God and religion.

This is not the first time that a film director has tried to convey this message to the people of India. We saw “OMG – Oh My God!” directed by Umesh Shukla a couple of years ago. But by comparison with that movie, "PK" has performed better and God himself also didn’t come to rescue his followers in “PK". I also want to discuss on couple of other issues that are somehow inter-connected with each other in “PK". While exploring human nature and behaviours, PK falls in love with Jaggu but senses that Jaggu loves Sarfaraz. PK hides his love and only at the time of returning to his home planet, just before embarking on his spaceship, Jaggu discovers PK’s sentiments towards her but can’t react at all. Later Jaggu published a book on PK and explained that PK actually sacrificed his love for Jaggu and never looked back to her while departing Earth because he probably wanted to hide his tears. In another incident, while Bhairon Singh was coming to Delhi to meet his friend PK and hand over the thief who snatched PK's remote control device,  both Bhairon Singh and the thief were killed in a bomb explosion in the Delhi railway station. That explosion took place just in front of PK and he got cold feet due to the intensity of that explosion. The thief paid the price for his crime but PK's innocent friend Bhairon Singh was the victim of either the act of terrorism or the pursuit of destiny. The loss of Bhairon Singh taught PK the lesson of going through the pain or sorrow of losing somebody like a relative or friend. PK has learned both the feelings of love and sorrow in one life on Earth. He came to Earth naked and while departing Earth, he never looked back to Jaggu. Maybe Rajkumar Hirani was inspired by the “Mahaprasthanika Parva” from the Indian epic “Mahabharata” that he has tried to showcase the great journey of a human being on Earth from birth to death.

Bang Bang: A typical Bollywood movie, too much bang bang but nothing more

October 8, 2014



I had a good time in these Durga Puja holidays without any specific programme of watching big movies in theatres. There was no release of any big science fiction movie in India on that time which would have suited my taste better. But I knew that two big starrer Hindi movies were going to be released in India during Durga Puja festival. One is 'Bang Bang' and another one is 'Haider' but I didn't have any plan to watch either of them in theatre. But a small news headline caught my attention that 'Bang Bang' had earned a whopping big amount of Rs. 175 crore worldwide in just four days. Boy, there must be something special in that movie, big star casting, an exciting trailer, action and romance…..What more can you ask for?

I had some other plans to enjoy my holidays but ultimately I decided to watch 'Bang Bang' instead. Just like everybody else, I entered into a movie theatre in south Kolkata with high expectation but by the time this movie reached its half time, I already knew that it was a shocker and a heart breaker as well. But I still didn't get into conclusion that it was a complete waste of my time rather I was still waiting for the climax and also looking for other entertaining elements in this movie. I also thought about writing a review.

Why did they choose
‘Bang Bang’ as the name of this movie? The sound is no doubt very loud. It has a Title Track ‘Bang Bang’ which I think came first and then came along the Title of this movie otherwise it doesn’t make any sense to me that the name has anything to do with the story of this movie at all.

Let's start from the beginning. When I said beginning, I meant Title Sequence. After showing all kinds of partner shit (this partner, that partner, xxx partner etc.), then the Title Sequence of the Distributor was shown that ‘Bang Bang’ was distributed as well as produced by Fox Star Studios. Encouraging huh! I was excited and waiting for a thrilling show with high expectation. The story starts against a backdrop of terror at the very heart of London. A terrorist mastermind Omar Zafar (played by Danny Denzongpa) was caught by London police but held in a special cell right at the MI6 Headquarters. But as the story goes, this character didn't look like a terrorist mastermind to me rather it should be outlined best as an international gangster. Do you know what kind of agency the MI6 is? It is the British intelligence agency (Secret Intelligence Service or SIS, commonly known as Military Intelligence, section 6 or MI6), the counterpart of India's own secret intelligence agency RAW (Research and Analysis Wing). Don’t you remember James Bond movies? He is the fictitious secret agent of this same MI6. I don't believe that MI6 handles any gangster like Omar Zafar by any means. So, Interpol or Scotland Yard would have been the appropriate agency in this case. An Indian Army officer Viren Nanda (played by Jimmy Shergill) along with two more Indian Army officers arrived there to receive Omar Zafar and take him back to India. After a brief lecture, he informed Omar Zafar that India and UK are going to sign a new extradition treaty. First of all, Indian Army does not engage in this kind of extradition activity especially in overseas because there are other Indian agencies in place for that kind of jobs and secondly India and UK have already signed the extradition treaty in 1993. Had the extradition treaty presumably not yet been signed between these two countries by then, how come the UK govt. would have handed over Omar Zafar to India without signing the treaty? Omar Zafar’s henchman Hamid Gul (played by Jaaved Jaffery) along with a handful of men with automatic guns then came into sight to rescue Omar Zafar. They killed all the guards in MI6 very easily and subsequently killed Viren Nanda with high drama before rescuing Omar Zafar. As a matter of fact, Omar Zafar himself killed Viren Nanda in cold blood by shooting and then burning him alive. Surprisingly all the guards in MI6 were either Indian or from Indian origin and I think James Bond himself would have fainted for sure should he knew that how easy that rescue operation was.

Let’s proceed further. As soon as Omar Zafar flees from MI6, a new news headline emerges on all the TV news channels across the world that the precious and prestigious Koh-i-noor diamond has been stolen from the Tower of London. The interesting part is the very reason behind that stealing which is the declaration of Omar Zafar that he will give a reward of $5 Million to the thief who must be an Indian, so that Omar Zafar can hold both India and UK to ransom in order to prevent the extradition treaty which is yet to be signed between these two countries. If this is the motive, then what on Earth an Indian thief is necessary for that, because the nationality of the thief is not important but the diamond itself is, if the mission has to be accomplished successfully. OK fine, next stop is Shimla in India. A meeting has been arranged between the thief Rajveer (played by Hrithik Roshan) and the men of Hamid Gul for a deal for Koh-i-noor. Now Rajveer doesn’t agree to complete the deal with the initial reward money of $5 Million but demands $20 Million instead, as a new price. I was confused that if we just leave the successful smuggling part of the diamond from UK to India, why any thief comes to an agreement to finalize the deal in India instead of somewhere safe place in UK so that the risk of being caught could be avoided or minimized. If I am not wrong, the price tag of Koh-i-noor should be above $1 Billion or it could even be priceless. If you can get $1 Billion or some less than that in black market, then would you like to deal it just in Millions? Did you see the Koh-i-noor diamond which Rajveer showed to the Men of Hamid Gul at an open restaurant in Shimla? It was a good and typical diamond shaped diamond but not the good replica of Koh-i-noor. I think the actual replica of Koh-i-noor won’t look like a good and typical diamond in the movie and therefore it was an intentional presentation of the diamond by the Director.

Now the sweetest part of the film takes place, which is the appearance of the Heroine of this movie, Harleen Sahani (played by Katrina Kaif). I must say that the Director of this movie has portrayed this character Harleen Sahani in a very peculiar way. She works in the Bank of Shimla as a Receptionist but where is the Reception Desk? She sits in a common desk along with other Clarks inside the Bank and handles some telephone calls. Please don’t tell me that this is a new ultra-modern type of Receptionist job. She is single but doesn’t have a Boyfriend. It is not like that she doesn’t want a Boyfriend, because she is still looking for a Date with the help of a dating website. A modern young female character with a great figure and a good job and who lives in a modern city of India, is still looking for her first Boyfriend. Can you believe that? Sorry, I cannot buy that story. May be the Director could have presented this character Harleen Sahani in a better, mature and acceptable way. I don’t want to spend too many words how Katrina Kaif speaks in Hindi or how good her acting skills are. It’s a open secret and already well discussed by the fans of Bollywood movies. There is nothing to add there.

The arrival of Indian secret agency Internal Secret Service (ISS) is another interesting part of this movie. Make no mistake that it's 'Internal', not 'Indian' in ISS. So, UK has SIS, Pakistan has ISI and India has ISS. They thought that it couldn't have been better than that but why ISS, a fabricated name, instead of RAW or IB. If you can use the name of MI6 for British intelligence agency, then what makes you think to use a new fictional name
instead of a real one for Indian intelligent agency. Is there any copyright issue for using these real names in movies? “Kahaani’ or ‘Ek Tha Tiger’ told us otherwise. No, I think the actual reason is Pakistan. We have seen how ‘Ek Tha Tiger’ was banned in Pakistan due to the presence of RAW and ISI in that movie. I think the Director has successfully saved the market in Pakistan for this movie. Did you see the CCTV footage of Rajveer with the Koh-i-noor in his hand, which came into notice of ISS chief Narayanan (played by Vikram Gokhale) and his deputy Zorawar (played by Pawan Malhotra). That CCTV footage was taken in Shimla at the time when the deal between Rajveer and the men of Hamid Gul was about to be done but the fact is, that restaurant, its owner or its waiter do not seem to me reliable for owning and positioning the CCTV camera in place besides the fact that this restaurant was an open restaurant and if you consider the angle of the shot, it seems impossible to place a CCTV camera in that restaurant.

As the Hero and Heroine are running away together, Heroine is witnessing the spy kind of fighting by Hero with the bad guys, crossing continents without passport or visa, experiencing the life in Hideouts; it slowly reminded me about a Hollywood movie ‘Knight and Day’ (Played by Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz) and as much as the events unfolded, they seemed familiar to me, I was literally losing my interest in this movie and practically it was too hard for me to hold my patience till the end. Who are the Script Writer and Director of this movie? Are they stupid and do not do any homework at all or do they think that the audience are all stupid? How can the Director gets inspired so much and copies the scenes of ‘Knight and Day’ so obviously in ‘Bang Bang’? Later I came to know that ‘Bang Bang’ is the so called official remake of ‘Knight and Day’. Really! An Indian version of that Hollywood movie. Good Lord! Please give the Oscar to the Director of ‘Bang Bang’ in a new category which is “How to Remake Officially and Destroy Successfully, a Bollywood Movie”. Please do the official remake shit only for south Indian movies or even try to remake officially the old Bollywood movies. A few Bollywood Directors have successfully done that but please keep the Hollywood movies aside for now.

The story circles officially from London to Shimla via Prague and Dehradun. But the change of locations didn’t follow any logic. The couple escaped from Shimla and reached to a hideout which is an island somewhere in Europe and close to Prague, but without any passport and visa. Remember Harleen Sahani when she escaped form the grip of ISS in hurry and clearly she couldn’t carry her passport with her. I am leaving the passport and visa part in this movie. It looks real that the she can be brought back to India by the help of ISS and Indian Embassy in Prague. Finally the Heroine has been kidnapped by the men of Omar Zafar form her house in Shimla and brought to the hideout of Omar Zafar in the middle of a Desert. Bike riding, F1 car riding and sea plane all close to a Desert which looks to me a modern Arabic Desert probably in the Middle East. The locations are fine as far as this shiny and bang movie is concerned but there is no such place in India close to Shimla and the Thar Desert in Rajasthan doesn’t look like that with ultra-modern highways, F1 cars, flyovers, sea planes etc. OK let me leave this change of location part here. It can be accepted in movies especially in Bollywood movies.

The climax was like a typical old Bollywood movie from 70s and 80s. The control of the situation gets exchanged three or four times from the Hero to the Villain and vice versa before the end of the evil. Before the fall of Omar Zafar, Rajveer or Jai Nanda revealed the secret that it was a joint operation of MI6 and ISS altogether to catch or kill Omar Zafar and Jai Nanda is the brother of Viren Nanda who was killed by Omar Zafar at MI6 Headquarters in London. The Koh-i-noor was actually never stolen from the Tower of London. It was a trap for Omar Zafar. The Heroine Harleen Sahani once followed the trail of Rajveer and reached to his real home at Dehradun and discovered that Rajveer is, in fact Jai Nanda, the brother of Viren Nanda and an Indian Army officer like his brother. So, the Indian Army with the help of ISS, sent Jai Nanda to pursue his personal vendetta and catch Omar Zafar dead or alive. I believe Indian Army will never allow that kind of secret mission officially or even unofficially. The last scene is a happy ending with the reunion of Hero, Heroine and the parents of the Hero (played by Kanwaljit Singh and Deepti Naval) at the home of Jai Nanda in Dehradun.

Some of the songs and their picturisation are good in accordance with the modern Zen-Y taste and also good for night clubs. If you are the crazy fans of Katrina Kaif or specially Hrithik Roshan and if you know how to ignore the logic and yet just want to enjoy a typical Bollywood Hindi movie, then you can watch this movie without any hesitation. This movie has its own entertaining elements and all the masala of a typical Bollywood movie. Hrithik Roshan has been presented as a complete entertainment package and some may say that it’s a complete paisa vasool movie, after all, it has joined the Rs. 100 Crore club in the first week of its release.